Shinya / Kyo
(NR)
You weren’t my first kiss. I didn’t even know you then. My first kiss was a boy named Hiro when I was seven. We kissed on a dare my cousin made us in the back of my grandfather’s house. She still picks on me about that.
You weren’t my first crush. Not even close. My first true crush was when I was fourteen and lived in the apartment next to a sixteen year old boy named Taka. He thought my crush was on his sister, Yuna, who was my age.
You weren’t my first boyfriend. I’ve had a few in my life. But, my first boyfriend was Kira. We were eighteen, when we were roadies for a little known band. It didn’t last long, only about three months, but I still consider him my first.
You weren’t my first broken heart. I know you wouldn’t be one of them anyway. My first broken heart, though, belongs to Jiro, the first man I trusted to love after Kira. What Kira did in our break-up paled in comparison to the weeks of tears Jiro left me in.
You weren’t my first lover. You’ve never known me that physically. My first lover was Yasune, a man I met when I was twenty-one. He was twenty-five and he treated me well. He took my virginity carefully, gently, and we thought we’d always be together. But, life has a way of messing things up, and a car accident stole him from me just before I turned twenty-two.
But you…
You are my first best friend. When I was seventeen, fresh out of high school, looking for work, you helped me. You got me in with the band, got me the roadie job. You introduced me to Kira.
You are my first protector. After Kira left me, you kept the others away, kept them from doing what Kira encouraged. You kept me safe in that hard time of my life.
You are my first companion. You let me in, let me get close to you. You opened your heart to me, even while watching me with the other men that came and went. You always smiled, just for me, and laughed and cared.
You are my first strong shoulder. You were the first to tell me it was okay to cry, that it was okay to be weak sometimes. You told me once that, if it ever came to it, you’d be strength enough for both of us.
You are my first true love. I don’t remember when I started loving you, whether it was before or after Yasune, but I know that I have for a long time. Somehow, you became everything to me, all I ever wanted in my life.
You are the first to have my heart completely. In the years that we’ve known each other, you’ve never once given up on me. Never once have you turned me away, left me behind. Even when the others have laughed me off, you’ve always made sure that I was taken care of.
Even now, I’m your princess. And you, you are my king. My heart and soul.
Sad thing is… you’ll never know it.
~END~
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